o!

**note that most everything from 2006 to this date was deleted and stored for exploitation in future posts, I only left a handful of things -- I also decided to write like a civilized person and use grammar and stuff, what you see below is how I talk IRL**

So now I feel 'potent cuz Miss Anne commented..wait, that came out WAY wrong sounding....

Lemme put it this way, I'm flattered beyond words. I read her blog every day, she's pure genius.

Hmm, well while I'm here what is new? Not much except for the first time in my life my blood pressure is up. I'm really getting OLD it seems, something I am not handling well, although I've already had my midlife crisis several times over.

Anyway, in the past year I've faced - and passed through - my 3 greatest fears: going to jail, being evicted and being alone the rest of my life. I went to jail for a night for hitting the juvenile delinquent (Tyler) - charges dismissed - $2k later, correct response, incorrect instrument (a ruler to the leg, sheesh); MAJOR misunderstanding on the rent with the landlord - her fault, no foul; being alone, well that one is the toughest and I'll prolly have to work through it the rest of my days. Despite marriage #3 I am still in deep grief over the death of #2, can't shake it, still weep daily 4 yrs later.

All of which brings me back to my faith/spirituality/whateveruwannacallit. Being pagan FORCES you to deal with shit yourself and not blame others/things/the gods. When I look back at all the hell I've lived I can honestly say I have never blamed anyone or anything else for my problems, they're mine, I own them, I solve them or don't make them again.

However, there has always been that little voice inside of me kicking my ass back into gear and reminding me that it's OK, you can handle it. And I have - with Her patience

I don't think there is anyone or anything that could tear me away from this - ever