One of those "It sucks to be a Mom" days
My oldest is 25 going on 12. He's done nothing remotely constructive with his life since he moved up here with me when he turned 18. He works, but he works day labor for several of the moving companies in the area. He manages to keep himself afloat, pay his rent, etc. but c'mon, he's 25.
He's had a LOT of problems with the law. Driving without a license being the main one. Now he owes somewhere in the neighborhood of $2500 in fines and fees. Which he's had for over 5 years now.
Over the years my mother and I have done a lot to help him. The asshole pretty much set him up for failure and then kicked him to the curb. Each time we've helped him he's managed to piss on it and screw us over. We've both told him "enough" and only allow him words of encouragement, but no cash, no place to live - nothing financial.
His latest scheme is to get his license and buy a truck and start his own trucking business. (Something I've been trying to encourage him to do with his brothers for about 3 years now.) His reasoning? So he will always be in the black to buy some pot. (da FUCK??) The problem is he has no car. The problem is he's dating a girl who won't have a car tomorrow. The problem is he wants to use my second car (which really belongs to my best friend, not me) and drive it to do something tomorrow.
He sent the girlfriend to plead his case and I turned her down. I told her that my son was 25, needed to stand up and act like a man, needed to STOP expecting (read: using) other people, such as herself to dig him out of a hole. Informed her that as I do not legally own the car and promised kimmie no one would drive it until I did, the answer was an unequivocable no.
Apparently he didn't like that or what I had to say about him because he's been calling my cell and I've been ignoring it. I already know the conversation, I'm a bitch, I'm holding him down, fuck me, blah, blah, blah. Spoiled entitled brat shit.
Being a parent is very hard work. Being a mother is even harder. Being a mother alone trying to make responsible men is damn near fucking impossible. But he's an adult, not a child. I have to be strong, I will be strong. But it sucks big piles of shit right now.
The good thing is the Butterfly is back in town and he made a beeline to see me and made me smile. I really missed him. Sometimes all you need is a friend.
now playing on my iPod - "Wild Child", Enya
He's had a LOT of problems with the law. Driving without a license being the main one. Now he owes somewhere in the neighborhood of $2500 in fines and fees. Which he's had for over 5 years now.
Over the years my mother and I have done a lot to help him. The asshole pretty much set him up for failure and then kicked him to the curb. Each time we've helped him he's managed to piss on it and screw us over. We've both told him "enough" and only allow him words of encouragement, but no cash, no place to live - nothing financial.
His latest scheme is to get his license and buy a truck and start his own trucking business. (Something I've been trying to encourage him to do with his brothers for about 3 years now.) His reasoning? So he will always be in the black to buy some pot. (da FUCK??) The problem is he has no car. The problem is he's dating a girl who won't have a car tomorrow. The problem is he wants to use my second car (which really belongs to my best friend, not me) and drive it to do something tomorrow.
He sent the girlfriend to plead his case and I turned her down. I told her that my son was 25, needed to stand up and act like a man, needed to STOP expecting (read: using) other people, such as herself to dig him out of a hole. Informed her that as I do not legally own the car and promised kimmie no one would drive it until I did, the answer was an unequivocable no.
Apparently he didn't like that or what I had to say about him because he's been calling my cell and I've been ignoring it. I already know the conversation, I'm a bitch, I'm holding him down, fuck me, blah, blah, blah. Spoiled entitled brat shit.
Being a parent is very hard work. Being a mother is even harder. Being a mother alone trying to make responsible men is damn near fucking impossible. But he's an adult, not a child. I have to be strong, I will be strong. But it sucks big piles of shit right now.
The good thing is the Butterfly is back in town and he made a beeline to see me and made me smile. I really missed him. Sometimes all you need is a friend.
now playing on my iPod - "Wild Child", Enya
posted by greer at
6:16 PM
1 Comments:
Oh, that's hard. He sounds like my ex-husband, who did better, as you say, with encouragement rather than handouts, which were always shortly frittered away. Stay strong. I think your gut is right!
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