Where I ponder if this is what ass tastes like
Tomorrow is my official last day of smoking. My quit date.
I'm not sure how that's going to work. The Chantix is definitely working as I don't get the "high" or "euphoria" from smoking. When I do drag out those times between cigs though the physical reactions are a bitch. I realize I'm going to suffer MASSIVE withdrawal symptoms over the next few weeks as my body isn't affected by the drug. I already know how it's going to feel and it's got me pretty nervous. I am finding that the taste of the cigs is (what I imagine) ass to taste like and more than 3 puffs gives me a headache. Interesting.
More than anything, I have to change my habits. After 25+ yrs of having a cup of coffee and a cig in the morning THAT is going to be hard. I tried this morning and I was all discombobulated.
The Butterfly was all nice and sweet and tried to be helpful when I told him how fucked up I was feeling. He suggested I take a quick walk when I needed a "cig break", or find something else to distract me. So far he hasn't teased me to the point of insanity but it's coming, I can see him gearing up. Of course like a doofus I agreed to let him get his jollies at my expense, but meh, I couldn't do this without his help. And then after having a stressful day thinking I was going to enjoy the EXTREMELY RARE AND ELUSIVE evening with him, I got cockblocked by my period. That just pissed me off to no end so here I sit alone smoking what was supposed to be my LAST pack of cigarettes - you know, the ones that now taste like ASS - instead of doing the dirty with a red-headed man. Sigh.
Despite an all around fucked up day I'm still committed to quitting. And I'm trying to not be depressed about the fifty gabillion things that are wrong with my life. Sometimes it really is all about taking it one fucking day at a time. I'm glad this one is almost over.
No doubt there will be some fresh hell waiting for me tomorrow.
now playing on my iPod "Winter: Allegro Non Molto" Vivaldi
I'm not sure how that's going to work. The Chantix is definitely working as I don't get the "high" or "euphoria" from smoking. When I do drag out those times between cigs though the physical reactions are a bitch. I realize I'm going to suffer MASSIVE withdrawal symptoms over the next few weeks as my body isn't affected by the drug. I already know how it's going to feel and it's got me pretty nervous. I am finding that the taste of the cigs is (what I imagine) ass to taste like and more than 3 puffs gives me a headache. Interesting.
More than anything, I have to change my habits. After 25+ yrs of having a cup of coffee and a cig in the morning THAT is going to be hard. I tried this morning and I was all discombobulated.
The Butterfly was all nice and sweet and tried to be helpful when I told him how fucked up I was feeling. He suggested I take a quick walk when I needed a "cig break", or find something else to distract me. So far he hasn't teased me to the point of insanity but it's coming, I can see him gearing up. Of course like a doofus I agreed to let him get his jollies at my expense, but meh, I couldn't do this without his help. And then after having a stressful day thinking I was going to enjoy the EXTREMELY RARE AND ELUSIVE evening with him, I got cockblocked by my period. That just pissed me off to no end so here I sit alone smoking what was supposed to be my LAST pack of cigarettes - you know, the ones that now taste like ASS - instead of doing the dirty with a red-headed man. Sigh.
Despite an all around fucked up day I'm still committed to quitting. And I'm trying to not be depressed about the fifty gabillion things that are wrong with my life. Sometimes it really is all about taking it one fucking day at a time. I'm glad this one is almost over.
No doubt there will be some fresh hell waiting for me tomorrow.
now playing on my iPod "Winter: Allegro Non Molto" Vivaldi
Labels: not smoking
posted by greer at
5:34 PM
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