The Good, the bad and the ugly
THE GOOD
The Butterfly sees the dread behind my eyes. I can't hide from him. He knows it's there. He knows how I struggle to keep it down. He knew what today would be like for me. He hugged me a good long while. He talked to me about everything good that's happened this past year. He made me laugh and laugh and laugh. He is my friend.
He tamed the beast. He's too good to me.
THE BAD
Today had the potential to be hideously bad. It was poised on the ends of every nerve in my body threatening to race helter skelter all through me. The untreated parasitic depression that has a hold on my soul wanted to come out and play. The strength my ancestors left me is all that keeps it and what I look like inside hidden from the world like the portrait of Dorian Gray.
One year ago today I kicked my 3rd husband out for cheating on me. It's also one year to the day since I started my job.
THE UGLY
I've been avoiding any and all political talk at work. They're rabid republicans. Today they pushed the limits. They wouldn't leave it alone. Today I shook them to the very fucking foundations of their fucking entitled white male souls.
I told them that I found it morally reprehensible that they would continue to support a candidate who by omission condoned racism in this country. That I believed them to be good people at heart, that didn't harbor overt racist feelings and that certainly wouldn't support racist behavior - that I had had FAITH they were decent deep down inside.
They had no idea what I was talking about.
I pointed out all the fucked up shit going on in the campaign. I pulled up news articles, commentaries, videos and blog posts about what their candidate was turning a blind eye to. They swore they had never heard about any of this.
But I saw a flicker of doubt and realization in their eyes.
I know it won't change them. I know they will still go out and vote for McCain/Palin. I know they will justify every bit of fucked up, race-baiting, dog whistle shit the republicans are promoting. They'll go home to their empty 401ks and stock portfolios and try to rein in their spending and drive their fucking minivans to soccer and softball and ballet and sail their little boats on the weekends and still condemn and blame the liberal left for the dickwad mess my beautiful country is in. And I know I will lose respect for them a little bit each day.
But I saw that flicker. And I hope to all that's holy to the Goddess it eats their souls up.
now playing on my iPod "Scar Tissue", Red Hot Chili Peppers
The Butterfly sees the dread behind my eyes. I can't hide from him. He knows it's there. He knows how I struggle to keep it down. He knew what today would be like for me. He hugged me a good long while. He talked to me about everything good that's happened this past year. He made me laugh and laugh and laugh. He is my friend.
He tamed the beast. He's too good to me.
THE BAD
Today had the potential to be hideously bad. It was poised on the ends of every nerve in my body threatening to race helter skelter all through me. The untreated parasitic depression that has a hold on my soul wanted to come out and play. The strength my ancestors left me is all that keeps it and what I look like inside hidden from the world like the portrait of Dorian Gray.
One year ago today I kicked my 3rd husband out for cheating on me. It's also one year to the day since I started my job.
THE UGLY
I've been avoiding any and all political talk at work. They're rabid republicans. Today they pushed the limits. They wouldn't leave it alone. Today I shook them to the very fucking foundations of their fucking entitled white male souls.
I told them that I found it morally reprehensible that they would continue to support a candidate who by omission condoned racism in this country. That I believed them to be good people at heart, that didn't harbor overt racist feelings and that certainly wouldn't support racist behavior - that I had had FAITH they were decent deep down inside.
They had no idea what I was talking about.
I pointed out all the fucked up shit going on in the campaign. I pulled up news articles, commentaries, videos and blog posts about what their candidate was turning a blind eye to. They swore they had never heard about any of this.
But I saw a flicker of doubt and realization in their eyes.
I know it won't change them. I know they will still go out and vote for McCain/Palin. I know they will justify every bit of fucked up, race-baiting, dog whistle shit the republicans are promoting. They'll go home to their empty 401ks and stock portfolios and try to rein in their spending and drive their fucking minivans to soccer and softball and ballet and sail their little boats on the weekends and still condemn and blame the liberal left for the dickwad mess my beautiful country is in. And I know I will lose respect for them a little bit each day.
But I saw that flicker. And I hope to all that's holy to the Goddess it eats their souls up.
now playing on my iPod "Scar Tissue", Red Hot Chili Peppers
posted by greer at
4:21 PM
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