this is what happens when you're bored out of your mind
you start reading all kinds of shit, clicking on all kinds of blogs that other people like and you find - somewhere cool
so i found "afronerd"
now why is this of any interest? well as i discussed recently, i'm having "issues" with the whole being black and the pagan community. so the blog post on afronerd about blacks and punk music fired up the old "don't fucking label me" feelings.
the convo i had with the kenyan yesterday echoes this whole theme. when we filed for our marriage license, the woman told him he had to check a box stating what race he was, he told her "i'm african", of course she told him he had to choose black as african wasn't a race. that didn't go over well, lol. so i dunno what we were talking about yesterday, but i ended up asking him when he's at home in nairobi, how does he describe someone? if you don't consider yourself black, what do you call someone who is? he couldn't grasp what i was saying, he said we we just say so and so or use their name. so now i couldn't grasp what he was saying, at least not while using my american cultural mindset (acm). finally i let go of my acm and a light came on.
this was exactly what i had been striving for my entire life. exactly how i viewed the world when i didn't allow the stereotypes my culture imposes on me to be the filter through which i experience things.
well shit, fuck and damn. how cool is that?
it's become second nature for me to filter everything through that acm AFTER my natural initial observation/meeting/whatever. i do it because i know that society has defined everyone and everything, wrapped it up in a nice little box and DEMANDS that you follow the guidelines. and it's pretty much impossible to skirt those guidelines outside of your own head. that has always pissed the fuck out of me. i am who i am. i'm not who you say i am, who you say i should be. i don't have to conform to what the "mainstream" defines me as. well ok, to an extent we have to to keep a civilized society, but outside of the laws of our country I CAN BE WHATEVER I CHOOSE TO BE and the rest of the world can go FUCK ITSELF.
so what does all this mean? that i really love this part of myself and i'm not going to change it. it means that i will continue until the day i die to try to help other people open up (even if just a crack) to remove their "filters" and just see each other as they are. yeah, i love that about me.
so i found "afronerd"
now why is this of any interest? well as i discussed recently, i'm having "issues" with the whole being black and the pagan community. so the blog post on afronerd about blacks and punk music fired up the old "don't fucking label me" feelings.
the convo i had with the kenyan yesterday echoes this whole theme. when we filed for our marriage license, the woman told him he had to check a box stating what race he was, he told her "i'm african", of course she told him he had to choose black as african wasn't a race. that didn't go over well, lol. so i dunno what we were talking about yesterday, but i ended up asking him when he's at home in nairobi, how does he describe someone? if you don't consider yourself black, what do you call someone who is? he couldn't grasp what i was saying, he said we we just say so and so or use their name. so now i couldn't grasp what he was saying, at least not while using my american cultural mindset (acm). finally i let go of my acm and a light came on.
this was exactly what i had been striving for my entire life. exactly how i viewed the world when i didn't allow the stereotypes my culture imposes on me to be the filter through which i experience things.
well shit, fuck and damn. how cool is that?
it's become second nature for me to filter everything through that acm AFTER my natural initial observation/meeting/whatever. i do it because i know that society has defined everyone and everything, wrapped it up in a nice little box and DEMANDS that you follow the guidelines. and it's pretty much impossible to skirt those guidelines outside of your own head. that has always pissed the fuck out of me. i am who i am. i'm not who you say i am, who you say i should be. i don't have to conform to what the "mainstream" defines me as. well ok, to an extent we have to to keep a civilized society, but outside of the laws of our country I CAN BE WHATEVER I CHOOSE TO BE and the rest of the world can go FUCK ITSELF.
so what does all this mean? that i really love this part of myself and i'm not going to change it. it means that i will continue until the day i die to try to help other people open up (even if just a crack) to remove their "filters" and just see each other as they are. yeah, i love that about me.
posted by greer at
2:10 PM
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