Musical Interlude #12

Yeah, silence is golden. Life is quiet.

So LCpl Tyler was watching this the other day. I asked him did he know who that was singing background..he was RIGHT!!! I'm so proud! So that put me on a Rick James kick. Btw, Eddie was a cutie before he lost his mind and his humor.










and finally..sigh

Breathe in, breathe out

So I got a call from my BFF today asking if I could pick her up from the hospital and take her home as she was being discharged. Her partner couldn't pick her up as she was in meetings all day and couldn't get there til after 7pm and she wanted to go HOME. Well of course I'd get her. She's my FUCKING BFF.

On the ride home, the truth came out. Her partner is actually at home. She didn't go to work, she went to the doctor to get more fucking drugs and was drugged up. A way to make even Kimmie's homecoming all about her - not Kimmie.

Over the weekend I tried to keep cool when talking to Kimmie on the phone. I had no desire to hear about how "wonderful" her partner was being coming to visit her everyday (Right, but I'm the only one you could depend on when the shit hit the fan). Asking her "how this happened" (While you were passed out from all your prescription drugs). How "worried" she was about her (Guilt is a MOTHER FUCKER BITCH). How this looked like it was going to be the "breakthrough" in healing their relationship (Not in this lifetime, Kimmie).

I tried to keep cool and not point out what a cunt her partner is. She was in the psych ward fer chrissakes and I didn't want to upset her more than she already was.

So on the ride home, Kimmie began to get distraught again. She knew what was going to be waiting for her. She knew that she was just walking back into hell. I told her I couldn't come in and see her partner because I couldn't condone what she was doing to her. I helped her with her stuff and sure enough, there she was passed out in the chair.

I can't do more for her. She's got to love herself enough to get out.

I just worry what form that exit will take.

Unselfish selfishness

I got a call from my BFF today asking if I could drive her to the hospital. She was going to check herself in to the psych ward.

So naturally, I told her of course I would and to call me when she wanted me to come over to the house to pick her up. I'd leave work and would be there for whatever she needed.

Instead of her, I got a call from her shrink asking me to come get her. She wasn't in a state to drive. I dropped everything and sped off to the shrink's office.

I got there to find my BFF curled up in the fetal position on the couch. Suffice it to say, I got her to the hospital and checked in.

Now I'm ready to find her "partner" and rip her a new one.

Kimmie has always been one of the most balanced people I know. I really credit not offing myself after the dead husband died to her calm, practical, honest strength during that time. When I went on a fuck-fest a year later, she let me get it out of my system and let me cry on her shoulder. When I went on a drinking binge, she reminded me I had to sober up. When I went to jail, she bailed me out.

I died a lot inside seeing her like that today.

I've always known she was in a dysfunctional relationship. Her partner is a non-practicing catholic who is in denial of her homosexuality. She has self-esteem and self-image issues. She shows Kimmie NO affection and they haven't been intimate for years. Everything is about HER. It's killing my best friend and I HAVE NOW HAD ENOUGH.

I've respected Kimmie's relationship, her feelings for this bitch, her co-dependency and her enabling. I guess about a month ago I finally let it all out and told her how I felt about what I'd been seeing. Kimmie knows it and her shrink had finally gotten her to think about HERSELF for a change. Really all of this is the slow death of a fucked up relationship and the near death of one of the partners.

My loyalty lies with my best friend. Not the cunt who is killing her.



Oh yeah, and it's Beltaine.