A woman walks into a pharmacy..

So I had this really great time last weekend with the PillPusher. A very VERY lovely dinner on Friday. I don't know that I've ever been on a first date that went so effortlessly. Brilliant conversation. Hilarity overload. Comfortable silences.

And he's tall. Oh yes he is. He's TALL.

This was followed with a beautiful afternoon Saturday at his home in the wilds of Spotsylvania County. Far more hilarity ensued fueled by copious amounts of wine. Far more than was planned or expected saw the late afternoon sun dip behind the trees and dusk rise.

The plan was to cook dinner together. I wasn't allowed to help. I was made to sit at the table, drink more than was acceptable and regale him with the frivolities of my life. Dinner was served with the story of his.

The next morning I was awakened to the smell of fresh coffee. Just roasted beans brewed in a french press. A breakfast of leftovers. A mid-morning nap.

I like this man. I like this man a lot. He's damaged goods like me. He wants quiet like me. He wants intimacy like me. He wants companionship.

He can give me what the Butterfly never can.

He's gone for Thanksgiving. Previous plans to be with his family. That's ok. Gives us time to think. He called from the road today and I told him I missed him. He reminded me that I wanted this time apart. He promised that the frantic pace where he works would be over before christmas. That he would expect time with me then.

Funny that. Someone wanting time with me.

Yo, can a girl get some samsara synchronization here?

I had a good day today. I took the day off so I could get a 4 day weekend. I cleaned and reorganized my room. The Butterfly and I had some VERY rare time alone at my house. He made me smile. He's good to me. All is well.

Which brings me to that fuck-all day tomorrow, Valentine's Day.

Yeah, that day which is designed to make those of us who aren't in a relationship feel like shit.

I never really bought into the hype of it, but it IS nice to have a significant other to spoil you that day. Of course some people take the whole romance aspect out and celebrate ALL the love they have in their lives. That's cool I guess but shouldn't you do that everyday anyway?

I'll admit it, right now I wish my relationship with the Butterfly was such that the retail spirit of the day could manifest itself. I'll be so bold as to admit I wish I could have a singular relationship with him. I wish he could swoop into the house tomorrow with roses, candy, wisk me off to a romantic dinner and then make passionate love to me all night long.

But that wasn't meant to be in this lifetime's go round.

So I'll drink heavily, cry ceaselessly, surround myself with all the stuffed animals the dead husband got me every Valentine's Day (yes I saved them all, one every year) and wish I could have better timing in love.

A Few Notes to Self

Gouda does not melt well. At all.

Havarti does of course, as does fontina (smoked to be specific - mmm mmm). In my quest to have a delicious, white preppie bougie dinner tonight (stuffed portabella mushrooms, fresh sliced tomatoes, fresh sliced pears and MUCH VINO) I discovered that the smoked gouda I used to top my concoction isn't conducive to melting when broiled. Lesson learned. That however did not deter from the enjoyment of the repast.


I still don't like Chardonnay. Blech.

I do however have an affinity for a good Riesling. I prefer the absence of the flavor oak imparts to a white wine. It makes it far more bitter and darker than the crisp, clean taste of an unpolluted Riesling. (My first husband was a chef who studied at the Culinary Institute of America and had extensive sommelier classes and passed that knowledge on to me, so fuck you, I know my wines.) I have a personal favorite that is mid-range priced and HOLY SHIT I found two bottles from 2005 for under $25 and scarfed them the fuck RIGHT UP. I shall enjoy them the very next night I am home alone. I'm twitching in ecstasy. There are obviously too many snobs at my local wine shop (dorks). I bought and opened a 2006 Cali Chardonnay and it lives up to it's above average rating, but nothing I'd buy again. Really, the wood kills a white wine for me. I may set this one aside for cooking purposes only.


"The Dark Knight" isn't worth watching a 2nd time.

PFC Tyler was disappointed that his plans to spend the night with a friend were cancelled. So I offered to finally watch that damn movie and we had a (rare) stress free night watching this flick. You know, the one with dead-ass Heath Ledger. Of course I had to remind PFC Tyler that he could watch our OTHER movie with Heath Ledger in it - "Brokeback Mountain" about the gay cowboys. I got a dirty look but no mouth. (Yes, I'm evil that way.) I know my son has no prejudice towards homosexuals, his extended family is made up of gays, but he IS a hormone driven 15 yr old, heh. Anyway, the movie was good but not worth me watching a 2nd time. It was too long and frankly Nicholson is the defining Joker for moi.


I'm a better liquor drunk than wine drunk.

Although I get less physically ill from wine (apart from a MASSIVE headache) than from liquor. But I recover better from liquor and rarely get a hangover. I do have to watch what I eat though as the wrong thing or not enough will have me asleep over the bowl. That wine headache is a bitch though and can last 2 days. Currently I'm on an alcohol binge. It happens every couple years where I drink every day (the excuse being I need it to get a full night's sleep). Then I go several years with nary a drink to my name. This go round I'm a temporary wino. Go me!

On rum, getting cockblocked and the internet

Let me preface this by saying I'm reasonably inebrieated.

My evening plans were cockblocked (shakes fist at Assmitten as it's all HER FAULT dammit!) and I'm turning to alcohol to compensate for the lack of (actually) damn fine conversation. The sex would have been welcome but not required.

Anywho.

Yammering back and forth with the aforementioned Assmitten reminded me of why I lurv the interwebs so much. You get to meet some pretty fucking amazing people. And knowing these people can make some HUGE changes in your life.

Let me also mention that I met the dead husband on the internet almost 14 yrs ago and we eventually got together IRL and lived together and got married. So I don't really subscribe to the "every other person on the internet is an axe murderer" school of thought.

Over these past 14 years I HAVE met some pretty awesome folks who also moved into the IRL state. Back in the day I used to go to "chat parties" held in various cities across the country and meet people I talked to online. I even had one of those individuals (who I thought I was in love with) leave his wife and move in with me - for all of 2 days. Fortunately he wasn't an axe murderer, just an idiot. (Yes, I am a bad ass mama-jama despite what you read here.)

Mr. Davis aka umf is another of those people. Also one who has been a friend for 14 years and for all intents and purposes is my "spiritual partner". We've only managed to get together IRL a few times over those years, but we keep in touch almost daily and our kids even know each other.

Speaking of which, let me direct you to the website (I have been TERRIBLY remiss) Soul Patrol We grew that out of a combination of chat rooms and bbs on Prodigy back in the day. Since that time I've met a shitload of artists and attended the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies in NYC. (Buried deep in there is a rather um, risque listening party chat about Miles Davis' "Dark Magus" with yours truly having what was described by Michael Henderson as "damn fine sex online". Ok, Miles does that to me, what can I say? LOL)

Frankly, the thing that keeps me coming to the internet is PEOPLE. I love to meet new people from the safety of my computer. Yeah, I know folks can lie and pretend with the monitor in front of them, but truly I've only run into a few of those losers. The majority of people I've met and kept in touch with through the internet have enriched my life. Given me the opportunity to look at my own experiences through the eyes of others.

And THAT my friends, is MOST EXCELLENT.

now playing on my iPod "Down in It" NIN